Why do you do all the things you do at work?
You likely have tasks for which you are assigned, which if you haven’t checked out the blog on external validation, go check it out and make sure you appreciate your work.
But, what about all the other extra things you are doing at work? Why do you do them?
Are you trying to make people like you? When someone asks you to do something for them, are you doing it even though it’s not what you want to do? Are you losing control over your own schedule in order to avoid rocking the boat?
I fell into the people pleasing trap when I moved to a new office. Since I was new, I was trying to prove my abilities, and I wanted my coworkers to like me. So, I was working on a project with this guy that I really respected. He wanted me to come to every single project meeting, but I sat in these long meetings thinking about how none of this was relevant to my work. I was getting behind on my deliverable for the project, but I didn’t want him to think I didn't want to be part of the team or that I wasn’t interested in the other facets of the project. I continued to get behind on my work. I began to feel more and more stressed about completing my part of the project. I started staying late so that I could work on my project and continue to go to his meetings.
One day I asked myself why I was continuing to dig myself into a deeper hole? What’s interesting is that all it would’ve taken was me having a conversation with my coworker. I didn’t want to have that conversation because I was worried about how he would react. In fact, I didn’t really know how he would react.
Worrying about how someone else will feel is never a good reason to do something, especially if it’s causing you to suffer.
No matter how hard we try, we cannot guarantee what we do will make someone else happy.
We cannot control how other people think or feel, we can only control what we think and feel.
When you are doing or not doing something for a reason that you don’t feel good about, the best question to ask yourself is why. Once you are aware of your reasons, you get to decide if you want to continue.
If you’d like to discuss your work relationships, book a free 30 minute call with me.