Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I’m not doing enough at work”, or “My family is getting in the way of my work”?
If you focus on what you’re
not doing at work, it can cause you to feel pressure that eventually flows over into your home life. This can lead to feeling hopeless and thinking that you’re doing terrible in both!
I remember a time in my career when I had two little boys in childcare and my team lead was a newly married young overachiever! He and his wife were focused on their careers, so he was typically there when I arrived in the morning, and there when I left at the end of the day. I remember worrying that I wasn’t doing enough and thinking he probably thought I was a slacker. I felt inadequate. I kept finding reasons that I wasn’t doing enough...I was ONLY working 8 hours a day...I received calls at work about my children...I had to take sick leave when my boy was sick. I was proving to myself that I was not doing enough!
Take a minute and ponder, what is the upside of thinking, “I’m not good enough at work”? Hint: there is none, so quit it.
Instead of feeling inadequate, how can we find the feeling of adequate in this situation?
In hindsight, I could’ve focused on what I was doing at work. I was showing up on time, I was working my full 8 hour shift, I was excelling at my job, I was finding ways to make the job more efficient, etc. All I had to do was be nice to myself when my brain wanted to be judgemental. I could have intentionally re-focused my brain to find the reasons I was doing enough at work, then I would’ve felt adequate, and wouldn’t have taken that stress and pressure home with me.
When I look back over the bigger picture of my career, there were times when work was the priority and there were times when family was the priority. While my brain was quick to judge and focus on the negative, in reality it’s not that I wasn’t doing enough. I was doing what was required and nothing more, which may be described as enough. While it’s not the workhorse attitude that I’m used to, I can be okay with enough sometimes, how about you?
If you’d like to discuss how you’re showing up at work or home, book a free 30 minute call with me.